Two Elves in Hobbiton
by JackieTheWriter
Summary: Lessien and Idril grow up in Hobbiton with Merry and Pippin as their parental figures...Then they meet Legolas and slowly drive him mad! It's all good fun!
1. The Beginning

Their parents died and the two young elf children were mysteriously found in Hobbiton. And they ensnared a new family, The Tooks and the Brandybucks! Merry and Pippin to be exact! Now, Merry and Pippin never really noticed anything peculiar about these two young female "hobbits". They some how missed the fact that they were really elves.  
  
Of course, all the other hobbits in Hobbiton knew the two girls to be elves, but they failed to mention it to Merry and Pippin. Anyway, the two young teenage elves grew up in Hobbiton, convinced that they were hobbits.  
  
The slightly older of the two (only older by a day) was name Idril! Idril had all the appearances of an elf and long straight brown hair. Her blue piercing eyes made her stand out even more in Hobbiton. Then again, it was hard to hide the fact that she was an elf. Idril was found on Pippin's door step when she was younger. Pippin took her in and thought of her as his new friend!  
  
Next door to Pippin and Idril, lived Merry Brandybuck. At the same time that Pippin discovered Idril, Merry had found Lessien. Lessien had wavy brown and the same piercing blue eyes that Idril had. Since, all elves have blue eyes, duh!  
  
Merry and Pippin were more like older brothers to the two girls than anything else. Being raised by Merry and Pippin, they learned to do nothing besides reeking havoc in Hobbiton.  
  
These two elves weren't exactly the brightest crayons in the box. See let's begin with how Idril was raised. When say that "Pippin took her in as a new friend" we seriously met. He was convinced that she was half dog half hobbit. So when he "took her in as a new friend" he trained her like one would train a puppy.  
  
"Now, here's the newspaper. This will be your place to do your business, okay, doggie?" he would say to her.  
  
Idril didn't know any better, but the only hobbit type of interactions she learned, she learned them because of Merry. If it weren't for Merry, Pippin would have made her stay outside at night and make her go through doggie doors. And she'd probably think she was a dog. Lucky for her, Merry explained to Pippin that Idril was not a puppy and that he couldn't just keep her in the shed. So Pippin let her out the shed.  
  
Now, let's go take a look at how Lessien was raised. When Merry first picked her up, Pippin jumped out of the shadows and scared him half to death causing Merry to drop Lessien on her head. So for the first half of her life so far, she thought she was a blade of grass. It wasn't until she was trying to fly in the wind as a blade of grass that she had hit a tree and woke up realizing that she was not a blade of grass, but of a hobbit of course!  
  
So, basically, it was all Pippin's fault that the two elves were not so right in the head. So their entire life in Hobbiton, revolved around playing pranks on everyone and for the elves everything.  
  
"Well, Pip, looks like you officially screwed them up." Merry said sarcastically to Pippin as they watched the two elves study a leave that fell from the tree.  
  
Pippin looked to Merry in a confused way and said, "I'm actually proud of who they have become! They are the best pets I've ever owned!"  
  
Merry raised a brow at his dim-witted friend and said, "They're not pets!"  
  
Pippin sighed and shook his sadly at Merry and said, "I hate when you go through these moments of insanity, Merry."  
  
And that's pretty much how everyday was lived between them. Just then Merry glanced over at the two young elves and saw them tying a string to the stem of the dead leaf.  
  
"What do you suppose that mean?" Merry asked almost afraid to hear the answer.  
  
Pippin smiled proudly, "They learned that from me! They had a pet when they were young. I think it was hamster. It died and they cried, so I lied! I said it's not dead! It's still very lively! Then I put a leash on it and told them to run and have fun in-"  
  
"Okay okay! I get it! In the sun! Now when exactly did this happen?" Merry asked.  
  
"Well you were away." Pippin answered.  
  
Merry was extremely confused and so asked, "Away where?"  
  
"Um, in the garden?" Pippin replied, making it sound more like a question.  
  
Merry scolded, "I thought we agreed that we would discuss getting a pet before we just went out a bought one!"  
  
Pippin shrugged.  
  
Merry asked curiously, "And long did this thing live exactly?"  
  
"About 10 minutes, maybe 15 minutes tops." Pippin replied like it happened everyday.  
  
Merry was in shock and asked, "WHAT DID YOU DO TO IT?!"  
  
"Well I told the girls about the story of the Ringwraiths and how they were trying to kill us! So, they decided to play Ringwraiths chasing you, Merry!" Pippin explained.  
  
Merry was horrified because Pippin was saying it as if it should an honor, "I was the hamster?! I WAS THE DEAD RODENT?!"  
  
Pippin shook his head laughing saying, "Oh no, merry! You were not the dead rodent, you were the dead Merry! Get it? You see, sometimes, Hobbits die. I know its sad, but you have to accept these things."  
  
"IT WAS A RODENT!" Merry yelled.  
  
Pippin nodded humoring Merry, trying to look smart, "Suuuure, Merry."  
  
Right then and there, Merry just gave up.  
  
One day as Idril and Lessien were playing Ringwraiths, Lessien ran behind a tree and came out on the other side and saw Idril as the Ringwraith! Immediately, she forgot that they were playing Ringwraiths and began running aimlessly into the wild. Now, Idril saw Lessien the Ringwraith screaming and running away so she gathered her courage and ran after it. The two screaming elves ran through the area as fast as they could, which was really fast considering that they made it to Rivendell in one day.  
  
As Lessien reached Rivendell, she stopped and stared at it, with a little drool beginning to descend from her mouth. Idril finally caught up with her and stood next to her, oblivious to the fact that they were the only Ringwraiths in the world that were chasing each other.  
  
They began to explore Rivendell and stumbled upon a room where they found an elf.  
  
"Look, Idril, a real live elf!" Lessien exclaimed.  
  
Arwen turned her attention to the two elves that had just entered. "Who are you?" she asked them.  
  
The two elves look at each other and then back to Arwen and Idril said, "We're hobbits from.well.where are we from again?"  
  
"Hobbiton or The Shire, something like that." Lessien suggested.  
  
There was a sudden realization in Arwen's face. She smiled at them and said, "You two aren't hobbits!"  
  
"Yes we are, crazy lady!" Lessien protested.  
  
Arwen looks at them in confusion. Out of nowhere Lessien and Idril run madly in circles screaming like Ringwraiths, or at least their best impression of one. With all the noise and commotion, Elrond had come to see what was going on. He stared at the two little elves running in circles in Ringwraith costumes and even screeching like them. He raised one of his funny looking eyebrows and looked to Arwen for some sort of answer.  
  
"Remember Arminas' kids that we found out were living in Hobbiton with Merry and Pippin?" Arwen asked her father.  
  
Elrond nods and says, "These two dim-whits are them?"  
  
"No! They're not dim-whits!" Arwen defending them.  
  
They both glanced down at the elves, who were still running in those Ringwraith circles. Suddenly, that collided into one another and now laid on the floor staring at the ceiling.  
  
Elrond raises his eyebrow yet again and questions, "Are they sleeping or something?"  
  
Arwen and Elrond get really close to the two elves' faces. Suddenly Lessien and Idril screamed as loud as they could, scaring the sh*t out of the two older elves.  
  
Then the two young elves jumped up and ran out the room giggling.  
  
"You were saying?" Elrond continued with Arwen.  
  
Aragorn was sitting on a bench at the end of his bed, reading a book quietly in his own room. He looked up toward his closed door, and thought that perhaps he had heard something move outside it.  
  
As soon as Aragorn had looked back to his book, his door swung open to two screaming elf children.  
  
"THE RINGWRAITH!" Lessien began.  
  
"IT'S RIGHT BEHIND US! KILL IT! KILL IT!" Idril yelled from onto of Aragorn's bed.  
  
Elrond was soon to enter and he explained, "Children, calm down! I merely wanted to offer you some food!"  
  
"NEVER!!! NO! YOU HAVE POISONED IT!" Idril yelled throwing a pillow at Elrond.  
  
Lessien leaped off the bed and landed on the floor below yelling, "LOOK! HE HAS KILLED ME!"  
  
Idril flings herself onto Aragorn's back and yells, "SAVE ME!"  
  
Aragorn grabs the child clinging to his back and says, "He's not a Ringwraith and he hasn't poisoned your food."  
  
"Sure! That's what he wants you to believe!" Idril suggested.  
  
Lessien lifts her head up from the floor and yells, "IT'S A CONSPIRACY!"  
  
"Would you two mind not yelling?" Elrond queried.  
  
The two of them answered at the same time, "NAH!"  
  
Just then, Legolas and Arwen happened to be passing on by the room. That's when Elrond got an idea.  
  
"Legolas, get them up!" Aragorn ordered.  
  
Legolas obeyed without any complaint. He helped the two youngings to their feet.  
  
"Oh, Legolas, I just had a thought. How about you go take these too back home? I'm sure they miss their Merry and Pippin." Elrond suggested making it sound more like a command than an option.  
  
Legolas looked to Elrond with a face of 'do I have too?'  
  
Arwen begged, "Please, Legolas!"  
  
And Legolas was not going to be difficult and have them have to beg him. So he agreed.  
  
"How hard can it be?" Legolas asked.  
  
Author's Note: DUN DUN DUN! What is in store for our beloved Legolas?! DUN DUN DUN! Uhhh..umm... DUN DUN DUN! Okay! So this is chapter! Please read and reviews! Thanks so much! 


	2. The Crazy

"Arminas was an advisor to my father. He and his wife were killed when Lessien and Idril were babies. We thought that perhaps the children had died as well, but then he heard news that they were in Hobbiton. We had sent someone to see if they were happy and it appeared that they were quite the happy bunch with Merry and Pippin. But I do admit that Merry and Pippin aren't exactly the best sort of influence for them. And what I am still amazed about is how they reached Rivendell in only a day. They are a little odd." Arwen told Aragorn.  
  
Legolas found the two kids outside sword fighting the air around them. He was curious as to what exactly they were swinging their swords at.  
  
"What are you two doing?" Legolas asked them.  
  
Lessien stopped and rolled her eyes, "Duh! We're killing the bees! Now, get down before they see you!"  
  
Legolas turned his head back to Elrond looking for some hint that maybe this whole bit was a joke. Elrond just nodded to him to start on his way to take the children back to Hobbiton. He sighed and started to walk saying, "Let's be off now."  
  
The two elves followed him skipping and humming two different tunes.  
  
Legolas reached the top of a hill and closed his eyes, taking in the peacefulness. He was so happy that the ring was gone and now there was no war to be fought. Suddenly a rather large rock hit him on the back of the head. Legolas fell to the ground knocked out.  
  
"Look, Pip! We got him!" Lessien told Idril.  
  
Idril giggled and said, "Oh my! Looks like he will be out for a bit! Perhaps we'd better take the patient into surgery, Merry?"  
  
"Oh indeed, Pippin!" Lessien giggled back. They turned Legolas onto his back.  
  
"Knife." Idril ordered and Lessien handed her a small elven knife. As Idril was lifting the knife over Legolas, he woke up and immediately rolled out of there.  
  
"What in hell's name are you trying to do?!" Legolas yelled at the two children.  
  
Idril played with the small blade a bit and shrugged. Lessien crawled on the ground and sat next to the kneeling Legolas.  
  
"We was only playing Doctor! Right, Pippin?" Lessien smiled.  
  
Idril nodded, still fiddling with the blade.  
  
Legolas was confused, "Pippin?"  
  
Lessien looked at Legolas and laughed, "Oh! He doesn't know! I'm Merry and she's Pippin!" Lessien pointed to Idril as Idril saluted with the small knife.  
  
Legolas smiled and laughed a bit at the children, "Oh I see, a game of pretend, eh?"  
  
Lessien and Idril just stared at Legolas. That's when Legolas noticed the knife in Idril's hand.  
  
"May I have that?" Legolas said putting his hand out.  
  
Idril smiled cutely and said, "But of course!" She then flung it at him. The blade spun quick and landed less than an inch in front of Legolas' left foot. Legolas was a little stunned. Then the two younglings got up and started to sing a song that went a lil' something like this:  
  
((To the tune of Yankee Doodle))  
  
Lessien and Idril went to Rivendell Saw all that they could see And cursed it all to hell  
  
Crazy lady called them elves Ringwraith poisoned them Aragorn has lots of book shelves And Legolas drinks gin  
  
This song went on for about two and half hours with no signs of stopping. Legolas' right eye began to twitch and he was slowly getting a headache. Then he decided to walk faster hoping to wear them out so they would be quiet.  
  
The song continued:  
  
As we walk in the forest I can see lots of bugs We sing the happy chorus And give Legolas some hugs  
  
"OKAY! PLEASE! PLEASE STOP!" Legolas yelled. The two little girls stopped with wide eyes and they both tilted their heads in confusion as to why Legolas was yelling.  
  
"Wow, you're grumpy." Idril said making a disapproving face.  
  
Legolas just kept walking. And they fell silent. After about ten minutes of silence, Legolas turned around to tell them he was sorry for snapping like that, but he turned around they weren't there.  
  
"Lessien?! Idril?!" Legolas called loudly. The forest was quiet and still.  
  
Suddenly Legolas heard screaming and then the girls came into view, running as fast as they could. He looked closely and saw Idril holding an Orc head tied to a rope. The Orc head hits trees and rocks, it's jaw hanging open. He thought that maybe they were screaming about that until he heard running of a large group and then shouts and growls. Legolas' eyes widened when he saw at least 50 Orcs headed their way.  
  
"AHHHH! HE DID IT! THE ELF DID IT!" Idril yelled and her and Lessien ran right pass Legolas. Legolas immediately went into a full out run after them. There was a large fallen tree and he jumped behind it, then took out his bow and began to shoot arrows at the charging Orcs. He had shot down about 20 of the Orcs, but they were getting a little too close for any sort of comfort, for one had punched his hand through the tree trunk, right next to Legolas' shoulder.  
  
Legolas got up and used a vine to climb up a tree. Then he began to hop from tree to tree. As soon as he thought the Orcs had lost sight of him, he calmed down and began to climb down from the tree and go look for the girls.  
  
After about fifteen minutes, Legolas found them.  
  
"Lessien! Idril! What in the name of Gandalf are you doing?" Legolas asked almost out of breath.  
  
Idril and Lessien's eyes suddenly widened as they saw something behind Legolas. Idril then tossed the Orc head to Legolas and he caught it. Then the two girls ran off screaming again. Legolas heard growls and he turned to see the other 30 Orcs behind him. They all raised their swords to him.  
  
Legolas looked to see the Orc head in his hands and smiled at the Orcs in front of him. He slowly placed the Orc head on the ground in front of them and slowly backed up.  
  
"Sorry." Was all he got out before they went into another charge at him. He began to run. And then he saw the girls running toward him and then pass him and right into the crowd of Orcs. The Orcs had completely ignored the girls. They were after who they thought killed their friend and they thought it was Legolas.  
  
"Hey! Uglies!" Lessien called out to them as Idril held up the Orc head and they smiled.  
  
All the Orcs stopped and began to charge to the girls.  
  
"LEGOLAS! DO SOMETHING!" Idril yelled.  
  
Legolas began shooting out arrows one and three at a time, going as fast as he could. As the Orcs fell to the ground, the girls stood in their place with their eyes closed, Lessien hiding behind Idril.  
  
The last Orc left was had his sword above his head about to slash down, when he was hit was an arrow and landed right in front of their feet. The two young elves were wide eyed and out of breath.  
  
Legolas was also out of breath. He fell to his knees, thanking everything for their survival. The two young elves slowly walked around the dead Orcs and toward Legolas. They were silent and stared at each one with awe and terror in their eyes.  
  
Legolas watched them, feeling sorry that they had to see all that death at such a young age. Then they both reached him. Idril held the Orc head tight against her chest, the rope wrapped around her arm.  
  
"We're gonna need a lot of rope." Lessien said out of breath glancing around at all the Orcs.  
  
It was nearly noon and Legolas had found a nice place by a river for them to rest. He had gone to hunt for some deer. He quietly crawled through the forest. Then he spotted a deer and began to take aim. He fires the arrow, but then Idril appeared in front of the deer.  
  
"NO!" She yelled and the deer leaped away. Legolas quickly shot another arrow to hit the first one and both arrows missed Idril. One passing by her left and the other to her right.  
  
Legolas ran to her trying to keep calm.  
  
"That was supposed to be lunch, Idril." He said harshly.  
  
Idril ignored him and skipped away back toward the river singing a new song that went like this:  
  
((To the tune of I've been Working on the railroad))  
  
I've been hunting in the forest All the live long day I've been creepin in the forest Just to scare Legolas away  
  
Can't he see I'm a hobbit Eating fruit all day Can he not throw a fit When I want to say Grumpy Legolas Meany Legolas Legolas is a murder He tried to kill a deer He stricken us with fear Legolas just go home  
  
Someone's in the forest I know Someone's by the river I know Someone's in the forest I know Petting on the old Orc head singin  
  
Her song went on and she sang it loudly enough to scare away any sensible creature near by. Legolas sighed, getting a bit impatient.  
  
"DON'T WORRY, LEGALULU! ME AND LESSIEN WILL GO FOR A HUNT!" Idril yelled back at the top of her longs.  
  
It was reaching nightfall, the sun was setting in the west and the girls had no returned to the camp site that they had found for lunch time. Legolas had started a fire and was fishing in the river. Finally her heard some singing and turned to see Idril swinging the Orc head that was still attached to the rope and the girls were giggling.  
  
"Where's the food you were suppose to get, eh?" Legolas smirked.  
  
"Oh! Whoops! We forgot!" Lessien shrugged with an embarrassed smile.  
  
Legolas almost tilted his head with curiousity asking, "Well then, what were you both doing?"  
  
"We were playing Frodo and the Ringwraiths! We were the Ringwraiths!" Idril informed him.  
  
Legolas smiled at their oddity and asked, "Where is your Frodo then?"  
  
"We killed him!" Lessien said with a huge grin.  
  
Legolas smile vanished, "What exactly was Frodo?"  
  
Lessien turned to Idril and they were discussing. Obviously they couldn't remember. He heard them say "a hobbit?....no..was it an elf maybe?...no? Are you sure?". Then Lessien spoked to him, "Oh! It was a squirrel!"  
  
"Where is it now?" Legolas asked a little sacred to know the truth.  
  
Idril pointed to the river. Legolas leaned toward it and at the both her say a dead squirrel tied to a rock.  
  
"He's sleeping!" Lessien said as if trying to reassure Legolas.  
  
Legolas just stared at the dead squirrel. Then he was reminded of the Orc head.  
  
"Exactly, where and how did you too get that?" he asked pointing to the Orc head in Idril's lap.  
  
"Well, we went exploring and we saw this monster man that looked like those other monster men people, yes. Anyway, he was roaring at us so we roared back! It seemed like he wanted to play! Then he threw an axe at us and it landed next to my head. So we took the axe and threw it back and well, it didn't land NEXT to his head.." Lessien said trailing off and staring at the Orc head.  
  
Idril nodded, "So we promised to find him a better body, perhaps an elf body."  
  
Legolas stared at them wide eyed.  
  
Lessien kissed Legolas on the cheek, "Well, Good night, Legolas! Sleep tight!"  
  
Idril kissed his cheek too and as she layed down by Lessien said, "Yeah, don't let the rabid monkey eating goats bite! Good night, Legolas!" 


	3. The Insane

Legolas woke up as the sun was rising and watched the two younglings sleep. They are really peaceful and angelic looking when they are asleep. Legolas sighed and thought of all that happened yesterday. He could definitely see Merry and Pippin's influence, but these two were almost psychotic. "A babysitter's nightmare." Legolas laughed.  
  
He had just finished frying some fish for the little ones as they began to wake up. He noticed that Lessien had taken the dead squirrel out the water and now had it on a rope like Idril had her Orc head. The squirrel he could stand compared to the Orc head. Every time he saw Idril snuggle with it he felt sick and just wanted to vomit.  
  
"Did you know that Merry and Pippin destroyed the ring all by themselves?" Idril asked Legolas as he handed her some fish.  
  
"They told you that they did?" Legolas asked surprised.  
  
Idril smiled and nodded, her mouth too full of fish to speak.  
  
"Yeah! Merry and Pippin are the smartest and bravest hobbits I've ever known! They went on a big adventure! Hobbits never go on big adventures, ya know? And now we girl hobbits will have a big adventure of our own!" Lessien squealed joyfully.  
  
"Um, you two are not hobbits. You know that, right? I mean, you guys are elves." Legolas told them.  
  
Everything was silent. "You're a terrible, terrible elf, Legolas! You're a liar and a uh, a big.a big meanie!" Idril fussed and kicked dirt into Legolas's fish. Then she and Lessien ran off. Legolas sighed and put the fish down and just decided to let them go. They'd be fine.  
  
Legolas sat there on a log and began to hum one of his favorite elven songs.  
  
As dawn was turning into day and it was getting a little warmer, Legolas started to feel a bit guilty. And all these thoughts of the two elves in danger came into his mind. I mean, they did find a way to make the Orcs angry. So he got up and started to hunt for the children.  
  
Legolas frantically searched for the children for hours frustrated with himself that he let them off on their own. All he could think about was how disappointed everyone would be with him. He slowly scanned the area as he walked back to the camp to gather up the rest of their things and then continued to go find them.  
  
When he got back it was nearly night and he stopped dead in his tracks when he saw them standing by the river, tying logs together to make a raft.  
  
"WHERE WERE YOU?!" he yelled at them.  
  
Idril explains, "Oh we were just taking a swim in the river. And when we had come up air you weren't there, so we figured that you just got up to go murder some more innocent animal friends of ours, you murderous elf you. So we decided to catch some fish in our mouths of course! It was so fun! You should have seen Sam go! He's the best fisherman I've ever seen!"  
  
"Sam?" Legolas asked confused.  
  
Lessien nods and says, "Yeah, Sam! Ya know, the head!"  
  
Idril held up the Orc head and the two elves smiled at him. Immediately, Legolas felt sick again and had to run to vomit in a bush for the fourth time from his first his meeting with the head. Then the elves went back cheerfully making the raft, ignoring the fact of Legolas' puking in a bush.  
  
Once Legolas was done vomiting his breakfast and lunch, he decided to go for a relaxing swim to get his mind off of things, like that damn Orc head that those two psychotic children playfully called Sam.  
  
As he reached the bottom of the river he failed to notice a shadow passing over him. When he needed air, he closed his eyes and shot himself up toward the surface, but was met by a wooden raft. When he frantically tried to go around the raft it seemed to move in all the directions that we was swimming in. Soon he was convinced that he would drown. As he slowly sank to the bottom he noticed that the raft had moved away. He then swam back to the surface as quickly as he could hoping that they wouldn't see him trying to stay alive.  
  
When he got his head above the water he saw the two children on the raft giggling at him.  
  
"GAH! DON'T FLOAT ABOVE ME WHEN I'M DYING IN THE ABYSS!" Legolas yelled in a fury.  
  
The two girls began to float toward him again, giggling. Legolas began to scream psychotically, "NO! NO! GET AWAY! FLOAT FROM ME! FLOAT AWAY!"  
  
Later that evening, Legolas was sitting by the fire deep in thought. Not noticing the two elf children sneaking around in the bushes. These two children are completely insane. At first I just thought that they were having fun singing songs that they made up thinkinh that they are hobbits. Oh, but was I ever so fooled. It would now seem that they are plotting against me. Trying to kill me. Trying to give that Sam, Orc head my body. Or worse, perhaps once I am dead, they will drag my lifeless carcus around on a rope.  
  
As Legolas was thinking, the two elves snuck up behind him.  
  
"My precious.." Said Idril in a Gollum sort of voice.  
  
Legolas sat up straight when he heard this as his eyes widened. He listened to see if there really was something out there or if it was just his own mind slowly going insane. Then he heard it again.  
  
Lessien whispered, "My own, my love, my own, my precioussssss.."  
  
"It was stolen from me and we wants it." said Idril.  
  
Then Lessien chimed in saying, "We hate the master, but we love him."  
  
Legolas slowly turned around to see the two girls crouched down behind him. They giggled and jumped into the bushes.  
  
"EWWWW! I landed in something!" Lessien squealed.  
  
"Legolas! Can we please go see the Misty Mountains?" Idril asked Legolas as the two elves stepped out from the bushes. Lessien was a lil' distracted by some unknown substance to her anyway, that was on her boot.  
  
"That's completely in the opposite direction!" Legolas argued.  
  
Idril made the best puppy dog begging face and began to beg him.  
  
Later that night as they were all laying down to go to sleep. Legolas was about to fully drift off into dream land, when he heard Idril and Lessien whispering in his ears on both side of him, "Misty Mountains! PLEASE! Misty Mountains!"  
  
This begging soon turned into a chant. They continued for over a hour and Legolas yelled, "FINE THEN! WE'LL GO! NOW GET AWAY FROM AND GO TO SLEEP!"  
  
The two elves skipped back to their "nest" that they had prepared with huge grins on their faces.  
  
The next day, they were all going to the Misty Mountains. Legolas walked ahead of them as the two girls made Gollum noises and impressions. The entire day was filled with "M precious." and other Gollum expressions. The two young elves started to walk like Gollum and kept straying away yelling, "LOST! LOST! MY PRECIOUS IS LOST!"  
  
They suddenly see the Misty Mountains and in a Gollum like rage, the two younglings ran off toward it, ahead of Legolas, yelling and shouting. Legolas didn't bother to chase after them because they were running in the right direction anyway.  
  
By the afternoon, they had reached the Misty Mountains will Legolas trailing behind. The two children were now screaming, "WE'RE HOME!" Then they quickly ran into the caves in the mountains. Legolas ran after them shouting, "NO! NOT IN THE CAVES! AROUND THE MOUNTAIN! AROUND!"  
  
The two elves ignored him and kept telling each other that they were home. Legolas eventually lost sight of them.  
  
The girls ran around playfully in the caves yelling and shouting. "Look, Pippin! A sleeping monster!" Lessien yelled and pointed at a sleeping troll.  
  
Idril smirked, "Well, Merry, looks like we've been given the opportunity to make a new friend! Right, Sam and Frodo?"  
  
The two girls shook their dead things as if they were agreeing.  
  
"We'll lets go wake him up!" Idril suggested.  
  
Lessien and Idril climbed onto the troll's belly and began to jump up and down on it. It soon turned into a game of lets see who could jump higher. Suddenly, the troll opened one eye and growled at the two elves.  
  
"Look, Pip! He's awake!" Lessien called to Idril.  
  
Idril ran to his face and the two elves peered down onto his face as they stood on his chest.  
  
The troll quickly got up, causing the two to tumble to the floor.  
  
"Well that's not very nice!" Idril commented.  
  
The troll roared in a rage and began to swing his club in the air, furious that they had disturbed him.  
  
"Ringwraith game, eh?! Okay! You can be the ringwraith and we'll be Merry and Pippin!" Lessien chimed.  
  
The troll just roared again and swung the club down at them. They rolled out of the way as the club smashed into the cave floor. They then ran into the shadows giggling. The two soon came upon other sleeping trolls. There were about ten of them at least, all snoring and snoozing away. The first troll was still chasing them and with all that noise, the others awoke as well. Idril and Lessien managed to escape just as Legolas was about to find them.  
  
The two elves merrily skipped by Legolas and casually Idril said, "Oh! We have some new friends over there who are dying to meet you!"  
  
Legolas gulped and looked ahead at the on coming trolls.  
  
Legolas started shooting arrows at the trolls, aiming for their weak spots and never missing them. The young elves decided to become Gollums again and they flung themselves onto the trolls and began to bite them as hard as they could. And every time the troll would be about to smash them, Legolas would have to save them by shooting more arrows or using his elven swords.  
  
To him, it seemed as though the young elves had no idea how much peril they were in. For every time a troll would fall, they'd shout, "WE DID IT! WE KILLED HIM WITH OUR RAZOR TEETH!"  
  
And Legolas thought that he might have heard them say something about getting more rope, but he had no time to question it, the battle was still going on.  
  
Soon as almost all the trolls were out, Legolas was shouting to the young ones to leave the caves. And they were, very slowly skipping out the caves, oblivious to the battle going on around them. Legolas saw more trolls racing into his direction. So he just ran away.  
  
Eventually he lost them and found Lessien and Idril. But he decided to remain hidden from them for the moment. As he watched them skip along singing a new song they had recently made up and found it funny and clever.  
  
(To the tune of: Hey Ho! To the Bottle I go!)  
  
Hey Ho! To Rivendell I go! To wreck some havoc and make a foe Elves may call and hobbits may drink But there still be many thoughts to think  
  
Sweet is the sound of Elrond's scream To make him give us some ice cream Better than cream, which I can pass Is a mug of soda inside this lass!  
  
The two younglings skipped out of the caves and up into the freezing Misty Mountains. The snow was blasting in their faces, but Legolas still trailed behind him.  
  
"Look, Idril! Just down below this cliff! Look! Its such a looooong drop!" Lessien pointed out to her sister, Idril as they both leaned over the edge.  
  
Just then something clicked in Legolas' head, and he suddenly had the urge or idea to push them off the mountain cliff. He fought hard to resist, but soon found his legs running toward them.  
  
He came right behind them, running at full speed. Suddenly the girls turned and moved out the way and Legolas went flying off the cliff. "He's not too bright, is he, Less?" Idril commented as they began their descent down the mountain to pick up their elf friend, that is, if he is still alive. 


	4. The Mentally Disturbed

Once they found Legolas at the bottom of the Misty Mountains, covered in at least 6 feet of snow, eagles descended from the sky. As Legolas was just walking up, he saw the two girls leap onto the backs of the great eagles.

"What in Gandalf's name are you two doing?" He asked them, not quite sure of where he was.

They just smiled and grabbed his arms and yanked him up onto the eagle with them. As they flew to Mirkwood, Legolas started recognizing where they were going.

"Wait a second…we're not going to Hobbiton, are we?" he asked in a very infuriated manner.

Lessien said to him, "Oh! Hi, Legolas! I forgot you were there!"

"Yeah! Umm…Hobbiton….yeah its nice and all, but we discussed this among the eagles as we let your icy body thaw in the ice….and they said, that it would be fun to go to Mirkwood! And we want to meet your family!" Idril proclaimed.

Legolas stared at them in horror. But he knew that fighting wouldn't solve anything, in this case anyway. Now he just felt sorry for his family and mostly Mirkwood.

When the eagles finally landed in Mirkwood, the girls immediately jumped off and ran into the forest. Legolas is just completely drained and now barely even cares if they make out alive. He lost sight of the elves and soon found them licking trees and eating grass. He almost didn't even want to ask, but still, curiousity got the best of him.

"I know I shouldn't ask, but…what are you two doing now?" Legolas asked.

Idril spit out some grass and informed him, "We decided to pretend like it's a candy land!"

Lessien chimed in, "Isn't that a wonderful idea?! I mean, taste the trees! They taste like candycanes!"

Legolas turns towards the reader, "Candycanes in Middle-Earth…just go with us on this one…"

Ignoring the sight before him, they continued their journey, which was unclear at the moment.

Soon the encounter what we will call for now…The Sleepy River (if u read The Hobbit, its that river in Mirkwood that Bilbo and the dwarves went in and it got them all sleepy…)

Legolas stopped them and said, "We must take the boat across."

So they all got into the one boat there. As they were drifting to the other side of the river, Legolas was completely entranced at watching the water.

"Ya know, Legolas, this boat is kinda heavy, don't you think?" Idril suggested.

Legolas raised a brow and said, "Ummm….no….I don't…..I don't think….why do you think that I agreed to bring you guys home…."

Idril didn't quite understand what he was saying, but she was sure that it meant "I love you." But unfortunately for Legolas, he was the heaviest one on the boat. After consulting with Lessien, they decided, that if they wanted to make it across this river alive, they would have to make a sacrifice. An elven sacrifice.

"Legolas, there comes a time when you just have to do what's right for everyone else." Idril began, "And don't you agree, that that theory would be wise?"

Legolas was sooo lost right now that his gaze kept darting from Idril to Lessien, in an attempt to see what they were up to.

Lessien stepped forward with a solemn face and said, "If we don't get rid of some of this weight, we'll surely drown in the abyss. And Idril and I talked it over and as much as we love you Legolas, you've packed on a few pounds, out weighing the both of us."

Legolas stared at them both in disbelief, "What are you talking about? You don't have a scale! You have no idea how much I weigh and how is my weight right now relevant to anything we're doing? No one will be dying in the abyss! And what abyss are we talking about?"

The two girls got frustrated with their attempts to suggest the idea of his suicide to him, so Idril took one more step toward him and said only thing, "Elven sacrifice!" Then they pushed him in the sleepy water.

Proud of their work, they reached the other side safely and jumped out the boat as Legolas drifted down the river, sleeping.

Lessien got mad at the sight and shouted to him, "You're supposed to be protecting us! And you're sleeping! WHY?! LEGOLAS! I HATE YOU!"

Then Idril looks at Lessien in shock, then she shouts, "But we love you, Legolas! She doesn't know what she's saying!"

By now the body of Legolas had drifted out of view, but the two continued to go back and forth at shouting to him.

Lessien said, "No! I meant it!"

Idril continued, "We love him! We love the Legolas!"

Lessien said, "It'll be okay once the elf is dead…"

Idril slapped Lessien in the face and Lessien stares in shock. Then they both smiled and giggled and ran deeper into Mirkwood.


End file.
